Day 51: We Gettin Schmittyyyyyy

Moab, UT -> Moab, UT

One Schmitt, two Schmitt, red Schmitt, blue Schmitt. Today I was struck with the cruel reality that I cant just call Sarah by her awesome nickname Schmitty because we have two more Schmitties with the gang today. Sarah’s lovely parents, Jennifer and Mike (dubbed mother and father Schmitt) got the team an Airbnb for two days and treated us to quite possibly some of the most fun and adventurous rest days of the trip. Sadly twin sister Schmitt could not join us 🥲.

We had potential plans today for an early morning hike, however, the group collectively decided in the morning that we were not built for that so we all enjoyed some delicious cinnamon rolls made by mother Schmitt then Ramona and I hit the pool for a morning swim. Later, a few of us hit the town to go to a bike shop and book store. We all did our business and Tian introduced me to some game on her phone that she really loves. I, looking at bike tires the first round, was not locked in so Tian easily defeated me. But of course that round was just the training so I proceeded to destroy her the next two games. We hurried back to the Airbnb to set off for our group white water rafting trip on the Colorado river.

Our rafting guide, Jonah, got to know us all and gave us the run through on raft and kayak safety. I really wanted to flip a kayak, but they ened up being pretty much unflippable. The ride down the river was pretty relaxing. We saw 3 bald eagles, an otter den, and even a stunning otter impression from Ruth flailing in the water. I started out in the raft and really wanted to take a turn at the paddles. So I got into the captain chairs and started rowing. Now some would say I was just bad a rowing, but the raft was initially in quite the difficult position near the river bank in almost still water making it pretty difficult to navigate back to the flow in the middle. Charles stepped in to assist, each of us with one paddle and we eventually found the bubble line and started zooming. Others tried, Ramona getting the most praise from Jonah for her steady pace and good navigation. Personally, I believe she received the oars when the raft was already in steady currents due to the labors of all who came before her, but I could never hate on Ramo so I sat there while she was praised, only making a small off-handed political comment about inheriting a good economy to Charles. During this process of us spokies learning how to row a boat, mother and father Schmitt wisely chose to flee to a kayak, avoiding a series of terrible raft maneuvers with one of us spokies in the captains seat. When it was finally my turn in a kayak, Ruth and I locked in. Utilizing her years of rowing experience and my raw power, we successfully paddled around in circles and were far slower than Charles and Tian in the other kayak 😐. But we did have a good time navigating through a few of the rapids and swimming around in calmer areas. All in all, rafting was a great experience for the team, after packing up all the boats at the end we started heading back to moab and hit our spokes signature move: napping in the van.

After our return, we set out on yet another adventure: Arches National Park. We went on a short sunset hike to the delicate arch and I gotta say, it don’t look all that delicate to me. Liiiiiiiike a bunch of birds were pulling up and perching on it and nothing happened 🤷🏾‍♂️. The hike up was pretty nice and it wasn’t too hot anymore. Ruth enjoyed seeing germans, because apparently every time you go on a hike there will be germans. She has some strange obsession with them for no reason, even though she barely speaks the language. Everyone enjoyed me tripping and falling on the way up because they’re all fake friends with no care as to if I was okay. Seeing the arch itself was pretty breathtaking. I would’ve loved if the amphitheater around it didn’t have as many people so the entire area would be more serene, but I suppose Jean Paul Sartre put it best: hell is other people (I’m just being dramatic, but i would have loved to be there at like 3 am with no one else around). Charles, Joseph, and I got some solid pictures of the men of the group looking fly as heck, but we were photobombed by Greta who couldn’t resist destroying out vibes (She’s evil, simple as that). Tian of course got her entire photoshoot with all of her signature poses as usual, actively kicking away any spokies who wanted to join her bc she gotta maintain her solo traveler reputation. After some cute full group photos we all headed back down and had a great conversation about REDACTED. Tian and Ruth have quite interesting opinions about the topic, then we took the convo to the van ride back to Moab.

Our final event of the day was hitting an upscale Italian restaurant. Now I LOVE Italian food, but the menu was my worst nightmare: too many options. Everything looked phenomenal, I didnt know what to order and started scrambling to organize a bunch of shared plates with other spokies so I could try everything. Bc the team is fake as heck no one wanted to go splitsies on 2-3 dishes so i had to make a choice. Once the waitress got to me I asked a wealth of questions about the dishes but was hit with the curveball of more dinner specials on the board behind me which i hadn’t seen. Naturally I asked her to come back to me after this revelation. Everyone else orders. Most notably Joseph gets the Josephina ravioli, very fitting I know. Once the zero hour finally arrived and I was forced to make a decision then and there, I did not take a chance on the ravioli, nor did I spring for the tortelloni. I, a man of class and high standards, ordered their mac and cheese. No toppings, no meat, no nothing. Just cheesed-up mac. As the other ordered started rolling in I started to get scared because they all looked absolutely scrumptious. All of the complex artisanal pastas made my dedication to my mac and cheese waver, I nearly even felt some regret. Then set before me was the finest plate of dairy coated pasta I have every witnessed. The consistency, the aroma, the perfectly browned layer of cheese on top. Taking my first forkful caused a single tear to trickle down my face. C’est tres bon. C’est magnifique. One could say it had a certain je ne sais quoi. But as they do whenever you find something truly sacred, the fiends began to swarm. Greta and Ruth started by simply asking for a taste, to which I agreed – I am a chill guy who likes to share food after all. But then, without warning, they began to descend on my cheese sauce with handfuls of garlic bread, dunking and swiping, leaving streaks of emptiness where rich cheese sauce once was. I continued to eat and revel in the meal, but the crows were flocking. In the end, my plate was decimated, not a spec of noodle or cheese sauce remaining. While I’m sure everyone enjoyed their own meals, everyone who tried mine surely had regrets about their ordering choices afterward.

After dinner we headed back to the Airbnb, another successful day for the spokies, very generously funded by mother and father Schmitt. All parties, tired, speedily headed to bed in preparation for an even longer and more arduous day tomorrow.